5 Things That Remind Me of Nicki Minaj's Ass.

The second I saw Nicki Minaj's album cover for Anaconda, I was mystified. I couldn't stop staring at it. I had a feeling that I've seen her ass before, it just looked too familiar.

It wasn't until last night where I decided to figure out where I have seen that ass before.

My Wallet

Upon further inspection of my wallet I realized her ass is the Mastercard logo! I knew I have seen it before. I also realize why looking at her ass made me feel like I owe someone money.

My Social Studies Textbook

Nothing blew my mind like when I first learnt what a Venn diagram was. Now that I realize kids can use Nicki Minaj's ass as a Venn diagram, I'm jealous.

My Childhood

Mickey mouses ears were always the most iconic two circles. That was until Anaconda dropped. Step aside mouse, we got Nicki now!

Cheesy Wedding Photos

This is  gonna suck for a lot of people's cheesy wedding photos. Congratulations, your cherished memories will now remind you of Nicki Minaj's ass.

These Drunk Old Bald Guys

I don't know who these guys are, I don't know where they are from but their bald heads combine to recreate the magic that is Nicki Minaj's ass!

Why being a balding man in Egypt is so much more difficult than being veiled, unveiled, blonde or even a redhead (especially a redhead)

Very recently I read on Scoop Empire about how hard it is to be veiled in Egypt and then I read about how it’s even harder to be unveiled and blonde. Countless of women came out to air their support and their opinions on this matter, but missing from all the chatter was an opinion I was looking for; that of a balding, slightly overweight male in Egypt.

So I thought to myself, enough is enough, it’s time to show people what it’s really like to be balding in Egypt and I’ll one up Sherry El-Kilany and Nada Kabil. Oh I’ll show you that being balding in Egypt is so much harder-er!

BEING JUDGED

If unveiled and veiled girls think they’re being judged, then try being balding. Every conversation is about how there is this new treatment they heard about that can solve your problem, or about how you might as well shave your head…or the worst the question of all “do you miss your hair?”

THE FAMILY

The loss of your hair becomes the number one topic of conversation at every family gathering; the insults, the questions and, the most humiliating, the stares. You know your aunt loves you but the look in her eyes tells you she loved you so much more with hair. You should feel safe around family, but it’s around family where you feel the most judged.

OOGLED ON THE BEACH

On the beach, a lot of my hair-challenged brothers can be found. Unfortunately on the beach is where, if you are balding, you better grow muscles and look like Bruce Willis, otherwise just wear a hat. The long walk from the car to your seat along the beach is like the most embarrassing runway. The comments, the whispers and the never-ending sea of laughter, much like the sea on the horizon…it never ends.

GETTING MARRIED

Finding a woman who can accept you for who you are and what is becoming of your hairline can be hard. I was lucky, but everyday I overhear girl after girl comment on how “no hair, all care.” I wish people could see past a physical issue, but deep down we all know women wanna run their hands through luscious flows not a patchy mess of scalp and stray hairs.

DEALING WITH GOVERNMENT ISSUES

It’s alright. The ID photographer can sometimes make fun of you, but ya you women got me beat here, but only here.

IN CONCLUSION

Don’t get me wrong, your life isn’t all bad without hair. Your morning ritual is much faster, you look great in a baseball hat and hair cuts are a lot quicker. In fact, yesterday my hair cut took 13 mins. I just feel that we are silent victims and it was time that someone took a stand and stood up for us. So to my fellow hair-losers, stand tall, be proud and most importantly, buy a snapback cap. They work like magic.

Hey Revolutionist DO SOMETHING!

I may be Naive, I may be simple minded, I definitely am super sick and have a fever, so I felt what better time to lay down my thoughts than when they might be most uncensored and raw.

Since January 25-Feb 11th I truly find that there are 3 types of people

1)People who gained fame and what to prolong the glory of being a Revolutionist. I don't mean this as a shot at anyone in particular, but I think we all can think of one or two "revolutionist" who frankly love and need the fame they got. My big beef with these people isn't so much that they want fame, I mean to a certain degree everyone wants their name known. My problem is that they aren't really doing anything to further develop Egypt and be a voice. They are just going to protest and leaving. This past week there was a conference to "save the revolution" here's an idea, HIT THE STREETS! Educate the people, 500 well off, upper class "revolutionist" sitting in a room discussing what can be done, while people are burning churches and pretty much hijacking the revolution is beyond counter-productive.
During the vote of "yes" and "No" the "No" voters held a Korba awareness festival, debates in AUC and Sakia el Sawy and pretty much just further convinced people who were already convinced they will vote No. Simultaneously, "Yes" Voters went to the rural areas and pretty much lied about any and everything to ensure yes won. In good news Cairo voted No, unfortunately EVERY OTHER PLACE VOTED YES!

If Revolutionist want to change Egypt and really be there, Get out there, educate and stop using twitter to "further the cause", Abdou Tawab (My doorman's name) isn't checking Ghonim on Twitter, he's just listening to what the Emam says.

2)The Mubarak Sympathizers these are the people that were leaving a pretty damn good life while Mubarak was in power, now life is a bit harder, and they feel bringing him back would solve everything. I think everyone should be smart enough to know how stupid and simplistic these people are. With the average minimum pay being so low and conditions of EVERYTHING IN THE COUNTRY being borderline shit-astic, I find it hard to believe that Egypt was on the up and up. Right now Egypt's at a cross road, it will either prosper or religious, gender and political tension will escalate and we will sink into a hole. These people are the ones who even if Egypt sinks, they have a life boat made of money and can just pack up and leave.

3)The "Duct Taped in the back of the car" these are the people who's voices should be heard but due to people of number 1 and 2, they aren't. Their logic is pretty sound, they have no fame, they have nothing else to gain then hoping that the country will prosper and that's why I feel more people like this need to step forward. I watched an interview with 3arabawy and couldn't help but feel "why don't we hear from him more." I agree he definitely has been a strong voice and some might feel he is more or less in the #1 category, but here's why he isn't. He actually is shedding light on issues, it's not just a "I don't want this person in power" type bullshit, more he explains why the workers need better condition. He stands side by side, he does what I feel the people of #1 category should be doing. Although I guess some people in the #1 category are too busy writing a book about the revolution (here's a hint....revolution isn't over, in fact we are still kinda fucked, stop writing.

I didn't write this blog post to shit on anyone, I more wrote it shed light on the fact that right now I feel everyone is tires spinning their wheels in mud, they are making a huge splash but going nowhere.
I hope the tire meets the road soon, because frankly if you think a conference is going to make a difference, we're more fucked than I thought.

(This rant has be brought to you by my fever of 39 Degrees...awww yeah)

Rams

Cairo Lovers Club: Nicknames

This is another piece from the in the air project "Cairo Lovers Club" This one is entitled "List of things Girls call me". It's a joke about a guy listing his names girls give him and why. It's kinda stupid but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. It's just about how unaware some guys (ME!) can be and not TAKE A HINT! that just maybe SHE'S NOT INTO YOU! I hope this makes you chuckle...I repeat it is silly.

List of things Girls call me...

Friend (obviously we were just friends…completely mutual)

Best Friend (We totally would have gone out, but the friendship was too strong…also mutual)

Girl’s Best Friend (it was a play on man’s best friend being a dog…I assume it is due to my looking like Scooby Doo.)

Lil’ Buddy (never liked this one really, but I was pretty short)

Bro (not sure how this one came about…but it stuck…I guess)

Guy (See: Bro)

Brotha from anotha Motha! (Again girl I liked but hey we were just too similar)

Sista! (this is after she realized she rather shorten it..it was for the best)

Shopping Buddy (well I guess due to my work musclesI was good to hold her bags. *see Girl’s
Best Friend)

My Gay Friend (Her boyfriend was totally jealous so they called me this just to you know, make
him feel more secure when we were alone)

Robin to her Batman (Well obviously my name starts with an R…so luck of the draw)

Guy outside my window (The New neighbour moved in and I was just trying to see what her
house was like…nothing weird at all. Also I got new binoculars for Eid, so I wanted to test them
out. They worked well…but when her dad punched me and I didn’t notice it really hurt)

Guy who won’t take a hint (Oh silly girls, making everything a riddle)

Blocked Number (We would play phone tag a lot, so I guess she thought this would be the
ultimate win)

Dude, who won’t leave me alone (This one just hurt…but ya I guess it was mutual.)

Cairo Lovers Club

I was tinkering with the idea of getting a group of people from Cairo to write essays and stories about past failed romances in the capital. I still wanna do it but am looking for people interested so if you are sign off below!
This was a small excerpt I wrote for the book that would be a filler between essays/stories. It's about the ridiculousness of MSN in conversations in Egypt, and how when I asked a girl if she wanted to catch a movie she said "I had to meet her parents first" which was insane to me.
Enjoy.

Cairo MSN Chat:
The death of Romance

Sam: Hey Sou

CrazySou: Sammmmmmmmmy,, Wahasny AWI! Hru

Sam: I’m good el7, how are you doing?

CrazySou: im sooooo gr8 el7 :-D wut r u ^ 2?

Sam: Well I just got in from Sa7el which was nice, spent some time with friends. This
summer has been great. I found myself really missing you and our talks.

CrazySou: LOOOOOOOOOL I MIISSS YOU 2!!! Begad! n I wnted to C U!

Sam: Ya, I spent a while wondering what we can do. Remember how you told me you wanted to go to that Swedish Film Festival that is at the embassy. I thought it would be a great time if we go to this little place I know, they serve Italian food, which I don’t know if you like, do you like Italian?

CrazySou: Akeeeeed yabny! Italian food is da BEST! Wut a stupid ? :-P

Sam: Ya I guess, just didn’t want to make you eat something you hated.

CrazySou: If I h8d it I wuld ave told u silly!

Sam: Ugh…ya. Look I have to go grab something brb.

CrazySou: Tyt

Sam: What?

CrazySou: Take your Time

Sam: Oh…I’m just grabbing some tea, but Thanks.

CrazySou: iwn

Sam: Sorry what?

CrazySou: It Was Nothing

Sam: Oh…ok, ya so grabbing the tea

CrazySou: tyt

Sam: I’m back

Crazy Sou: wb

Sam: What?

CrazySou: Welcome Back, hwz da T?

Sam: Oh thanks, the tea is good. Look so would you like to go the movie with me.

CrazySou: R U Stupid?! I luv U, Akeed I wanna Go w/U. Bos Bokra Im bussssssssssy faskh,,,,but h bout Tuesday.

Sam: Ya, but this is really the first date, Surely you can’t love me.

CrazySou: Yany, I luv you like I luv reading and writing.

Sam: So not that much.

CrazySou: wut?

Sam: Oh it’s just you shorten everything, it was a joke.

CrazySou: La2 Keda Kateeeer Awi. I dun like dis. I dun like dis @ all. U R NOT DA MAN I MET! La2 Shokran. U R CRAZY! :-S

Sam: Sorry It was just a joke.

CrazySou: Do I look Stupid? Lew kan Joke, U wuld rite LOL or JK or haha or :-P. Im
sorry, This is not gonna work. BY >:-E

Sam: Look Sou…@-{--- I’m sorry, here’s a rose.

CrazySou: SAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY! I LOVE IT! Yalla CUTues.

End OF Conversation

Hope you liked it. I got one or two more excerpt laying around I might toss up

Hall Of Shame (cliche I know)

Yesterday the news reported the death of Pat Burns. This time unfortunately they were right. I grew up a Leafs fan and unfortunately I remember particularly the 92 season on. Pat Burns was their coach he would always be yelling at players, refs and on a few occasions going over to fight the other team's coach. This past year it became clear that Pat Burns would be leaving us to, it also was clear that this 3-time Jack Adams award winner and Stanley Cup winner would be in the Hall of Fame but for one reason or another, they decided to exclude him off this years list. This is a true shame, it is abundantly clear he will be in it one day, and the fact he could have been alive to see it and the NHL chose not to let that happen is a damn shame.
When he finally does get admitted to the Hall Of Fame, and he will. I can't help but think this moment will forever be tainted, they could have done right by him, and chose not to.

RIP Pat Burns, your fire and passion as a coach is yet to be matched.

Making Dreams Come True part 2

Again this year I auditioned for the Amman Comedy Festival and although I was close (so I was told) I didn't make the finals...Darn.

It's quite alright the first two goals I ever had when I started comedy was to perform in NYC and perform in front of my friends in Canada, I accomplished both this summer so for me, my comedy bucket list is complete everything now is just icing on this beautiful cake.

At the show in NYC I got to see the Very Funny Mohamed Mohamed. He was super nice and super funny all around a great guy. Mohamed(x2) got into the FINALS! So I will gladly lend out my support and hope you do to, SO PLEASE! Take 5 seconds to just cast your vote HERE you will be sent a confirmation email. Put it this way it will take you like a minute but it really could make all the difference in a guys life and frankly everyone needs a hand every once and a while.

Mohamed Mohamed to Amman, to quote Diddy LET'S GO!

Art vs Artist vs People on the Internet

I love the sound of my own voice, this is further supported by the fact I went into comedy. I think that sometimes I say things and do things that may piss off someone but in reality it's just me being me. This is how I choose to live my life, and most importantly this is how I will continue* to live my life. Similarly so does Kanye West, apparently.

Lately it seems that anytime Kanye West does anything, everyone feels the need to have an opinion, and 9 times out of 10 it's "he's an idiot"**. Kanye West is outspoken, yes. Kanye West has done, said things that were dumb, again yes. Neither of these two fact have anything to do with his music. This is a fact I struggle with when talking to people about Kanye West. I had an argument with someone who said "How can you like Kanye West's music, did you see what he did to Taylor Swift." This sentence causes me to have a near aneurysm every time.

There needs to be a line drawn between the Artist and the Art. I am not the biggest fan of Coke Heads but Robert Munsch wrote some damn good children Book. I am not a fan of Pedophiles but Roman Polanski's Chinatown is brilliant. I am not a fan of guys hitting on children*** but Alice in Wonderland was a fantastic book.

When Michael Jackson died in June 2009 everyone recalled how great a musician he was. People didn't really comment on the child sex scandals because that no longer mattered, what mattered was that the artist can no longer create art that we loved. Sure there were a lot of fucked up things said about Michael Jackson, and yes some people will still feel the need to bring it up, but when all is said and done, we will never get to see Michael Jackson perform again, and that is the real shame.

Kanye West might piss you off, he might upset you but there is no way in hell you can listen to "The College Dropout" or "Late Registration" and call his music bad, I'm sorry his production work is absolutely phenomenal. To constantly judge someone not by the merits of their work but by their actions and statements is just foolish just like you wouldn't want your job review to be based on 'if you are Team Edward or Jacob****.' I really hope readers of the internet***** that do nothing but trash Kanye on blogs find this one and realize, there always needs to be separation from the artist and the art create. You can hate the artist, but at least be smart enough to appreciate the art, or at least give it a chance.


*(god willing)
**the other person usually makes a "he's a gay fish" which never gets old, much like those Wassssuuuuuuuuuuuuuup commercials, go back to high fiving your buddy while totally playing mad Beer Pong and Listening to "College" by Asher Roth.
*** apparently a lot of good artists like children...hmmm
****Totally Edward.
*****I kid you not I saw a guy post a comment on a Kanye Article saying "I asked my son who this Conway West guy is and he said 'Dad, he's a big zero'." I mean seriously how many things can be wrong in one statement.

Comedy: Post Show

The Show went well, I will start with that.

I had my flaws, but then again, I am yet to see a comedian have a flawless set, it's pretty damn hard. I started off coming out to "Night By Night" by Chromeo. I have to say this is one of the best calls I have made for intro music, since "Roc Boys.." By Jay-Z. This pumped me up and led to some dancing. The sound people refused to cut the song when I asked them to so it led to more dancing, which led to bigger dancing revolving around the idea of "TURN THE FUCKING SONG OFF!" none the less I had a blast dancing and making the crowd love it, so frankly it worked out for the best...note to self MORE DANCING!

I made a fatal flaw, I arranged my jokes wrong, I did the grape leaves joke as my kick off and I think it's too fast a joke to get the crowd into it, I should have done Aladdin first. Aladdin killed as usual and Wizeer/Wizard was a great ender. Right there, Right there is where I should have said good night and walk off, instead I did the joke on the guitar.

This joke was taken out the night before, but as I got there, they informed me they fixed all the kinks and I was going to do it. I wasn't prepared, the sound was awful and the lights were intimidating, the joke didn't really hit. It's fine tho, 3/4 isn't too bad, right? Right!

This show was more than a do well show, this show was one to make me comfortable again. I had a blast, I think the lighting was awful as well as the sound. The audience was fully lit, so it was really really hard to get in the groove when you can see EVERY SINGLE PERSON, the sound was a constant battle, but frankly I think the show was a hit. Mo' Love Did well, Shaheen got a bit screwed over due to some argument between security and three ladies*. Peter Zarief Is hands down one of my favourite arabic Comedians, he truly is a great stage presence, Ali Quandil is someone I love to see, what I love most is how quiet and to himself he is. He just sits backstage by himself, goes up kills, and walks back to his spot, respect. Mike Beteyah was beyond nice. He made us all feel like super stars, he was supportive, nice and constantly cracking us up a Great guy. Ronnie Khalil's nickname is "The Real Deal Khalil" this is no coincidence. He writes like a beast, is constantly doing new jokes and frankly just a work horse. He is a very serious person about his comedy and that I respect, His work ethic makes my head hurt. Lastly K.Mansour, just a funny guy, really annoying fact, You will be like "check out my Homer Simpson impression" And he responds with a bang on perfect one...ya kind of annoying, damn his voice abilities!

Great Time, I am happy people gave me a second chance to make them laugh and liking what I did.

Rams

*These three ladies felt that they deserve to sit in the 125LE level when they only paid 100LE. When they got caught instead of politely going to their seat they felt the need to yell scream and be absolutely horribly inconsiderate people. I've gone from the 300 level at sens games to 100 Level, but if I got caught, ya I'd go back. They really made it hard for Shaheen and really robbed a lot of people of some great comedy, Please people stay in your seats, and be nice to those around you!

Comedy: I really need Thicker Skin.

Tomorrow, or today...Is gonna be my first time on stage since my only real sub-par set. I had a confrontation with an audience member over her heckling my performance and my returning said heckling. I walked off stage, half the crowd was on my side, the other wasn't. In my head though it felt like everyone hated me. I couldn't look anyone in the face, I simply left, got in my car and drove home. That drive was one of the few times i didn't play any music. I just sat in the car and thought about what went wrong. How did something I felt so good about go sour.

Anyone that knows me, knows I really am a nice guy and truly hate offending or upsetting anyone. I tried to explain to the audience member, how hard it is to perform, and if I did something to offended her, feel free to tell me after. Due to it being in the heat of the moment it probably came out a lot worse than it should. I haven't seen the audience member since, I hold no resentment, and frankly am sorry it ended how it did. I should have just let it go, but unfortunately I love working a crowd, it's been one of my favourite things to do while performing.

Today I am hitting the stage since that show. My ego is severely bruised, my mojo feels empty. I just am really scared she will be in the audience with her friends and boo...It's a nightmare of mine really. I'll go on tomorrow, do my best and hopefully things will go alright.
As I go to sleep I hope to wake up with thicker skin though, cause if one person got me this bad, how will I handle Bloggers.

Night.
Rams

Fail Warning: Glee

I am pretty sure the title of this blog will probably get peoples attention, that is ultimately the purpose of a title. Before I even begin writing on this topic, I will start saying I have actually been watching Glee from episode 1. Yes, in May 2009 (I believe). Jane Lynch's opening line "You think that's hard? Try being water-boarded" had me sold. The song performances were amazing, I have been a fan of a-capella performances for a while, the Ben Folds university Glee club record made me fall in love with the art.

Glee was created by Ryan Murphy of Nip/Tuck fame and he promised it wouldn't be anything like High School Musical. IF you watched the first half of season 1 it had the dark sense of humour fans of Nip/Tuck loved, unfortunately each episode seemed more and more water downed then the last. By the start of the second half season 1 I was almost ready to throw in the towel, I felt that everything I enjoyed about the show was pretty much being killed. As soon as they announced they were making a Madonna episode, I started tuning out. I hate gimmicks, as you saw in the HIMYM blog, you can see I think guest stars and show ideas like "the musical" episode are horrible attempts to build interest. This is called in the industry as "Jumping the Shark."

The Madonna episode wasn't horrible, it was a bit redundant at times, but overall it was actually somewhat enjoyable. Then they announced a Gaga-esque episode, this was hands down one of the most over the top episodes of anything I have ever seen. Yes, we get it Kurt is gay, I personally never use the F** word, but I don't give speeches every time I hear it. The speech given by Kurt's dad was the most laughable attempt to deliver a power speech, but unfortunately the speech was shitty and the acting matched the writing. I pretty much now couldn't give a crap about this show, sure I will watch it, but frankly I couldn't care about the characters anymore. I really just watched it because it was something my Fiancee and I would do together, and I love ruining shows for her.

What made me really gain interest in the show again was Matthew Morrison announcing no Britney episode would ever happen and that the finale was actually REALLY good.

This brings us to Season 2...I know a bit of a read just to get to the main point but hey, my blog, my rules.

Season 2 started with somewhat a decent episode, it kinda had the feeling of old glee, but then episode 2 happened. Britney Spears's Manager started a Twitter and Facebook campaign to get her an episode. I will admit that Britney Spears, like it or not, is somewhat one of the artist that has had the most significance on our generation. The episode felt like nails on a chalkboard. I hated every second of it, in fact I knew it sucked when my fiancee turned and looked at me and said "Wow, this sucks." The only people I know who enjoyed it, are Britney Fans, in fact I am pretty sure I could have taken a dump, put a tape recorder in it and have it sing 'Hit Me One More Time.." And Britney Spears fans would love it, matter of fact...I think I would watch that Youtube clip 30 times before I watch that episode again. The episode made no logical sense, a fact they admit in the episode itself. The Curly Hair guy needs to fucking go, that guy just annoyed me. The performance that was probably the best ("..One More Time") got ruined due to that kid.

Glee will probably go on for a while, but I feel the people who it originally targeted are more alienated than there new found fame amongst high schoolers, the people they originally said this show wasn't for. Ryan Murphy may feel the show is unstoppable but remember The O.C. was once seen as invincible.

Thanks for reading. Stop Sucking Glee.

Remebering DJ AM

This is an article I wrote for Major Magazine after DJ AM's Death.

Hope you enjoy it

"Find something you love doing, than get paid to do it."
-DJ AM

During the late 90’s, the idea of having a DJ as a member of a rock band was a common affair, ‘Limp Bizkit’ has DJ Lethal, ‘Sugar Ray’ has DJ Homicide, ‘Linkin Park’ has Mr. Hahn, while ‘Crazy town’ had DJ AM.
DJ AM was born on March 30, 1979 in Philadelphia, named Adam Goldstein. He started his career as a member of the aforementioned group ‘Crazy Town,’ who’s only real hit was “Butterfly.” Since a young age, AM battled drugs, particularly crack cocaine, but by his mid 20’s he kicked the habit and put all of his focus onto spinning records. It paid off, as DJ AM started to grow a following and even began growing in the public eye due to his personal relationships with Nicole Richie and Mandy Moore.
While earning his time in the spotlight, DJ AM started forming a bond with drummer Travis Baker, the drummer from famous rock band ‘Blink 182,’ which would eventually lead to one of the most unique DJ sets that featured DJ AM mixing music while Barker performed live drumming. The duo released their first mix tape in late August 2008, which became a huge success and led to them performing at the VMA’s, as well as doing commercials for the Super Bowl. DJ AM continued his resident DJing set at Rain Night club in the Palms in Las Vegas, while having monthly shows with Barker.
On September 19, 2008, disaster struck as a private plane carrying both AM and Barker crashed in South Carolina leaving Barker and AM as the only two survivors. This tragic turn of events would cause permanent damage that DJ AM never fully recovered from. Because of his work, AM is forced to constantly travel by plane which led him to take anxiety pills in order to deal with the emotional trauma he faces spawning from his accident.
Although the pair seemingly recovered from their accident, even performing at Coachella and releasing their second mix tape together, a second tragedy would soon follow. On August 28, 2009 DJ AM was found dead in his apartment with the cause of death ruled as a drug overdose. His death has come as a great shock to many of his close personal friends, seeing as his recovery had been something of a positive role model to fellow recovering addicts.
The legacy left behind by DJ AM should not be remembered for how he went but for what he left behind, his raw passion for music that can be heard in all of his sets. The two mix tapes that were made under TRVSDJAM, entitled “Fix Your Face” and “Fix Your Face Vol. 2”, are unbelievable in their flow and comparable to any great set. The blends found can see the music go from ‘Metallica’ to ‘Michael Jackson’ flawlessly, while still giving a great vibe for any music lover.
DJ AM started DJing when he was 20 years old, and while he only had 17 years to leave his mark on the music industry, he succeeded in leaving behind a legacy that sure is hard to be forgotten.

Bad TV is in the eye of the Beholder!

Growing up I have always been a huge fan of watching trash TV. I don't know what it is exactly I think when something is so bad it will reach a point where it becomes good. I believe the holy land of trash TV is most definitely MTV. MTV offers so much bad TV shows that you could literally sit on the couch for 4 hours go through so much garbage and not realize how long it has been, I would know...I've done it. The worst of my loves are the horribly acted dating shows such as 'NEXT' or 'Date My Mom'. These shows are so badly done that I am 90% certain the contestants are just actors, bad ones at that. The premises I must admit are wildly entertaining, can you imagine going on a date with ones mom? I don't know what it is but I can safely say MTV as much as I wish I could hate you, you have such golden garbage that I just can't get enough of. I don't particularly enjoy "The Hills" I just find that show mundane and dull. The characters never do anything, it's like "Entourage" except without the jokes, or likability* which makes "Entourage" enjoyable.

The show I most like on MTV is "The Real World" ever since I was about 10 years old I have been watching it every time I made my trip down to Windsor, Ontario. I can still remember the day we got MTV from Rogers at home and I spent that night watching a Real World marathon, I don't know what it is, I just loved the interactions. This new season has definitely been a good one but definitely not the best, I think the best season of "The Real World" that I can remember has got to be Austin. Austin was just so well done, everyone was likable, their job was interesting and the drama was pretty intense. The Real World is the digestive cookies of television, you eat them as a snack but you are never quite full because of them.

The last show I love and is well known fact among my friends is Maury. I don't think I have to explain this at all, Watch this quick video and you will know why!


I guess this is where I pose the question "What are your guilty Television pleasures?"


*My girlfriend is gonna hate me for that one

MusiCyde..The Death Of Music

When I come home every summer I try my hardest to hear as many new bands people are listening to as possible. Last year it was safe to say Lil Wayne was on everyone's playlist. This year however I haven't had as many bands stand out, but there is one artist that I have encountered that raped my ears. When I say raped my ears, I mean the amount of the noise being thumped in my ear and my ears not wanting to comprehend what is being heard, that's rape. This all started with the band "BrokenCyde". If you have not heard this band, let me at best try to describe them. Electronica beats with loud screaming of party words without being fully discernible over what is being said. For further proof this is there song "Get Crunk"



That song is a perfect example of everything wrong with music. I really wanna know is there any lyrics to this song? Is there really any point other than to yell "GET CRUNK" or "GET DRUNK?" I think this song is laughably bad, I feel anyone can get on Reason or Ableton an come up with an electronic beat and yell "PARTY ON!" over top and people will love it. I really hope people realize these guys are complete shit and should not be listen to. I am a guy who likes lyrics, who enjoys a good party song and lastly loves a well composed song. This song has pretty much none of the above, if you want a party album go grab mixtapes might I recommend "TRV$DJAM" or even the insanely popular "Girl Talk".

Signals Over Hannah Montana?

As some of you may have heard a 53 years old man was charged with stalking Miley Cyrus this past week, he alleges that he spoke to her through her TV show 'Hannah Montana'. I decided to sit down tonight and take in an episode Hannah Montana and see what it said to me. Now allow me to recap the episode as fast as possible so we can get to the break down of communications. Miley's dad went on a date with Lily(I think that's her name)'s mom. While on the date the dad wanted to pay for dinner but the mom wouldn't let him which ended the date, this was a huge blow for their friendship because they were hoping to be sister. This led to both girls taking sides and inevitably having a huge fight in the middle of a class presentation. The presentation was of Miley's country giving Lily's country some fish as a gift, but Lily's country refused to take it and insisted to pay (do you see the connection). This led to throwing and putting of fish under each other shirts and a huge fish fight where the whole class threw CGI fishes. Miley and Lily sneaked their way out and talked it over and everything ended with Miley singing as Hannah Montana.

Besides all the bad writing that comes with Hannah Montana, I would be lying if i didn't say it has become one of my guilty pleasures. I grew up on Family Channel and till today if I wake up before 11am on a Saturday I most certainly tuning into ABC's Saturday Mornings. I normally would never admit this but i think this is important for people to know, so they don't think I am just an ass making fun of a kids show. I think that this guy follows a chain of people who all believe that past celebrities have spoken to them through messages on TV, the most famous being John Lennon vs Mark David Chapman. I was so intrigued by that story, I always wished that I could see what he saw. Now we have our new age Mark David Chapman in this stalker and I wish nothing more to ask him how? How does anything in Hannah Montana speak out to you?
The writing might be something he felt spoke out to him, that's great but Miley Cyrus doesn't write the show, so that wouldn't be her doing and would be the writers.
The way she does things in the show, that would be due to instructions by the director, again not Miley Cyrus.
The objects in the room, well that would be the set designer and again not Miley Cyrus.
I find it absolutely ridiculous that people can say with a straight face they are being talk to through songs or shows, it absurd, thinking that a fish being thrown at Miley Cyrus indicates that she wants you to follow her to the coast line, so that you can jump her would be making a pretty big stretch. This begs the question, why is this guy allowed to walk around? Shouldn't there be some type of therapy or something set up and not just a restraining order. I mean you can say it's a restraining order but frankly I am not convinced, I think that is putting a bandage on a leak. I truly hope that something stronger than a restraining order is in the works.

Pranksters

Yesterday I was reading around and surfing the web when I found an article about a group of online prankster that originated in my hometown of Windsor, Ontario. They ran a website that would feature people's prank calls, which sounds remotely harmless. Sadly prank calls are not what they used to be. I can remember when growing up it was always fun to make the odd call to a buddy pretending to be someone else, or calling the random funny last name in the phonebook and just laughing. I never said I was the most mature kid. Now, it appears that these people would call up random businesses or people in hotels and pretend to be some type of government body or security team. The two instances that were discussed were when they called a hotel room and told the occupant that there was a gas leak and he had to smash his window to allow it to go out and that he should bust his television to ensure no sparks cause a fire. I would like to think that I would realize smashing my window would bring in more oxygen which could fuel the fire more, and that smashing my television could inevitably create sparks during that process, but given the circumstances who knows? I am pretty sure if someone frantically scares me enough in the heat of the moment I would probably crack under the pressure. The other event was a caller called a KFC and convinced two female works that they must pull the chemical shower, and then informed them it could be toxic so they should go outside and remove all clothing. Ridiculous as it may sound, it's a bit worse knowing that it was winter outside. The question now is how is one to charge these guys? They didn’t do it they just ran the website. I feel as if some form of justice should be served especially for the victims, but how would you justify it. Sadly no charges have been made yet, all we can do is stay informed so that when we get such calls we are smart enough to see through it.

On a completely different note John Hughes directed some of my favourite movies, from The Breakfast Club to Ferris Bueller, hell even Home Alone the man really owned my childhood. It is with great sadness i must say Rest in Peace and thanks for the memories. You will be remembered as one of the best comedic directors from the 80's.

The Canadian Candy Conspiracy

I am one of those people who when he notices something change it drives you nuts. I grew up being a fan of candy, most people were, but I actually had favourite companies. You named a candy and I could name the maker. I used to have 2 favourite companies, and it's safe to say they are two most people like, Wonka and Allan's confectionery. There were times where my friend and I would sit around and debate which of those two are better. Wonka had Nerds and Allan's had Fuzzy Peaches. This debate was never settled, it was just too difficult although if you ask me now-a-days, the answer is the same, they both are just too damn good. a couple of years ago probably 2007 I noticed something about Fuzzy Peaches, Sour Patch Kids and Sour Cherry Blasters, not only did they have new packaging but the bunny like Allan's logo was no more, now it was Maynard's. This bugged me, it made me wonder would the gummy now be more of a Wine Gum and less of the Fuzzy Peach? To my satisfaction the candy tasted more or less the same. I just assumed that Maynard's bought Allan and that was that. Recently on Canada Day I was in a convenience store where I noticed something cause my head to turn, Allan was back, but with their less popular but equally awesome candies. A new line of Allan was now available in new packaging offering "Watermelon slices", "Big Foot" and "Peach Slices". I was left wondering what this meant? Did they re-open? What happened to Maynard's and is the factory in Mississauga still open? As far as I can figure The Allan Company has fully separated from Cadbury and is now trying to re-establish it's name. This will be a bit of an uphill climb seeing as it lost the names of it's popular products, so I really think I will take charge and advise you all to follow suite. DO NOT BUY Fuzzy Peaches, Sour Patch Kids or Cherry Blasters instead purchase the Allan's Peach Slices, Cherry Slices and Sour Fruit Slices. That way we could help the rebirth of one of Canada's greatest candy company, and most importantly support the true creators of Fuzzy Peaches!

For You, Mr Wu.

I used to blog, I used to blog a lot. I used Myspace as a journal, then tragedy struck and I lost interest in letting people know how I was feeling. When times are rough the last thing you want is people to know, I created this blog at first to be about things I like music, movies and clothes...primarily shoes. That didn't go according to plan, it really became a platform for reviewing albums and giving my advice on music. That was a lot of fun, but time consuming I no longer had the luxury to sit around and listen to a new album EVERYDAY...it was just not feasible. I then decided to put up videos I found and liked, that was fun, yet it really was just a cop out, it was too easy. Now I sit here about to relaunch the site, why????....simple for my friend Jiash Wu to have something to read at work. So this my first post, I will try hard to update every day but for the most part, I look forward to just typing, I love nothing more than writing. I live in Egypt most of the year and I find that if I don't practice enough my typing and grammar becomes weaker. I would hate to lose my grip on the english language and all its plentiful rules!

Last night was one of those nights you have a feeling is gonna be a good night. Mike and I just got back in town from a great weekend at Osheaga and spirits were at an all time high. We made our way to meet with Nate and Starbucks and head over to Bond's. Bond's house was a lovely little place that got hot pretty quick but got even more out of hand at the same time. Playing games, doing chin ups, playing his guitar, Mike creating abstract art by putting a garbage can in the Oven? And last but not least the mosaic of objected hurled onto his bed for no reason. It was just a night of pure fun. I must admit the night was turned a bit serious when Victoria was cut above the eye, but thanks to awesome initiative she was taken care of by friends (I believe the name is Frasier, didn't catch the other girls and Mike). The rest of the night was just filled of Rock Band and pool thanks to the QP. That said it just shows how nice being in a new place can be when the people are this nice.
I hope this blog keeps people entertained, thanks for reading!
Rams

Fully Flared!

This is the DVD i have been waiting for for a long time! This looks amazing, check it out!