Sunday, April 17, 2011

Cairo Lovers Club: Nicknames

This is another piece from the in the air project "Cairo Lovers Club" This one is entitled "List of things Girls call me". It's a joke about a guy listing his names girls give him and why. It's kinda stupid but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. It's just about how unaware some guys (ME!) can be and not TAKE A HINT! that just maybe SHE'S NOT INTO YOU! I hope this makes you chuckle...I repeat it is silly.

List of things Girls call me...

Friend (obviously we were just friends…completely mutual)

Best Friend (We totally would have gone out, but the friendship was too strong…also mutual)

Girl’s Best Friend (it was a play on man’s best friend being a dog…I assume it is due to my looking like Scooby Doo.)

Lil’ Buddy (never liked this one really, but I was pretty short)

Bro (not sure how this one came about…but it stuck…I guess)

Guy (See: Bro)

Brotha from anotha Motha! (Again girl I liked but hey we were just too similar)

Sista! (this is after she realized she rather shorten was for the best)

Shopping Buddy (well I guess due to my work musclesI was good to hold her bags. *see Girl’s
Best Friend)

My Gay Friend (Her boyfriend was totally jealous so they called me this just to you know, make
him feel more secure when we were alone)

Robin to her Batman (Well obviously my name starts with an R…so luck of the draw)

Guy outside my window (The New neighbour moved in and I was just trying to see what her
house was like…nothing weird at all. Also I got new binoculars for Eid, so I wanted to test them
out. They worked well…but when her dad punched me and I didn’t notice it really hurt)

Guy who won’t take a hint (Oh silly girls, making everything a riddle)

Blocked Number (We would play phone tag a lot, so I guess she thought this would be the
ultimate win)

Dude, who won’t leave me alone (This one just hurt…but ya I guess it was mutual.)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Cairo Lovers Club

I was tinkering with the idea of getting a group of people from Cairo to write essays and stories about past failed romances in the capital. I still wanna do it but am looking for people interested so if you are sign off below!
This was a small excerpt I wrote for the book that would be a filler between essays/stories. It's about the ridiculousness of MSN in conversations in Egypt, and how when I asked a girl if she wanted to catch a movie she said "I had to meet her parents first" which was insane to me.

Cairo MSN Chat:
The death of Romance

Sam: Hey Sou

CrazySou: Sammmmmmmmmy,, Wahasny AWI! Hru

Sam: I’m good el7, how are you doing?

CrazySou: im sooooo gr8 el7 :-D wut r u ^ 2?

Sam: Well I just got in from Sa7el which was nice, spent some time with friends. This
summer has been great. I found myself really missing you and our talks.

CrazySou: LOOOOOOOOOL I MIISSS YOU 2!!! Begad! n I wnted to C U!

Sam: Ya, I spent a while wondering what we can do. Remember how you told me you wanted to go to that Swedish Film Festival that is at the embassy. I thought it would be a great time if we go to this little place I know, they serve Italian food, which I don’t know if you like, do you like Italian?

CrazySou: Akeeeeed yabny! Italian food is da BEST! Wut a stupid ? :-P

Sam: Ya I guess, just didn’t want to make you eat something you hated.

CrazySou: If I h8d it I wuld ave told u silly!

Sam: Ugh…ya. Look I have to go grab something brb.

CrazySou: Tyt

Sam: What?

CrazySou: Take your Time

Sam: Oh…I’m just grabbing some tea, but Thanks.

CrazySou: iwn

Sam: Sorry what?

CrazySou: It Was Nothing

Sam: Oh…ok, ya so grabbing the tea

CrazySou: tyt

Sam: I’m back

Crazy Sou: wb

Sam: What?

CrazySou: Welcome Back, hwz da T?

Sam: Oh thanks, the tea is good. Look so would you like to go the movie with me.

CrazySou: R U Stupid?! I luv U, Akeed I wanna Go w/U. Bos Bokra Im bussssssssssy faskh,,,,but h bout Tuesday.

Sam: Ya, but this is really the first date, Surely you can’t love me.

CrazySou: Yany, I luv you like I luv reading and writing.

Sam: So not that much.

CrazySou: wut?

Sam: Oh it’s just you shorten everything, it was a joke.

CrazySou: La2 Keda Kateeeer Awi. I dun like dis. I dun like dis @ all. U R NOT DA MAN I MET! La2 Shokran. U R CRAZY! :-S

Sam: Sorry It was just a joke.

CrazySou: Do I look Stupid? Lew kan Joke, U wuld rite LOL or JK or haha or :-P. Im
sorry, This is not gonna work. BY >:-E

Sam: Look Sou…@-{--- I’m sorry, here’s a rose.


End OF Conversation

Hope you liked it. I got one or two more excerpt laying around I might toss up