Very recently I read on Scoop Empire about how hard it is to
be veiled in Egypt and then I read about how it’s even harder to be unveiled
and blonde. Countless of women came out to air their support and their opinions
on this matter, but missing from all the chatter was an opinion I was looking
for; that of a balding, slightly overweight male in Egypt.
So I thought to myself, enough is enough, it’s time to show
people what it’s really like to be balding in Egypt and I’ll one up Sherry
El-Kilany and Nada Kabil. Oh I’ll show you that being balding in Egypt is so
much harder-er!
BEING JUDGED
If unveiled and veiled girls think they’re being judged,
then try being balding. Every conversation is about how there is this new
treatment they heard about that can solve your problem, or about how you might
as well shave your head…or the worst the question of all “do you miss your hair?”
THE FAMILY
The loss of your hair becomes the number one topic of
conversation at every family gathering; the insults, the questions and, the most
humiliating, the stares. You know your aunt loves you but the look in her eyes
tells you she loved you so much more with hair. You should feel safe around
family, but it’s around family where you feel the most judged.
OOGLED ON THE BEACH
On the beach, a lot of my hair-challenged brothers can be
found. Unfortunately on the beach is where, if you are balding, you better grow
muscles and look like Bruce Willis, otherwise just wear a hat. The long walk
from the car to your seat along the beach is like the most embarrassing runway.
The comments, the whispers and the never-ending sea of laughter, much like the
sea on the horizon…it never ends.
GETTING MARRIED
Finding a woman who can accept you for who you are and what
is becoming of your hairline can be hard. I was lucky, but everyday I overhear
girl after girl comment on how “no hair, all care.” I wish people could see
past a physical issue, but deep down we all know women wanna run their hands
through luscious flows not a patchy mess of scalp and stray hairs.
DEALING WITH GOVERNMENT ISSUES
It’s alright. The ID photographer can sometimes make fun of
you, but ya you women got me beat here, but only here.
IN CONCLUSION
Don’t get me wrong, your life isn’t all bad without hair.
Your morning ritual is much faster, you look great in a baseball hat and hair
cuts are a lot quicker. In fact, yesterday my hair cut took 13 mins. I just
feel that we are silent victims and it was time that someone took a stand and
stood up for us. So to my fellow hair-losers, stand tall, be proud and most
importantly, buy a snapback cap. They work like magic.
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